Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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