peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm too high and old for this...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
