is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
