So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
