his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
