just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
