You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
