A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
found the other keg... it's in the tree
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
