I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize