just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
