did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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