my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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