I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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