Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize