I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
