so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
