How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
