just come out here and I will go home with you...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
