i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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