He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
