I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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