There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
