you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You were trust falling into bushes
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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