Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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