there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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