This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
