I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I came so hard my ears popped.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
