I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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