sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
