remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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