Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
