They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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