He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
