Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
