Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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