Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize