OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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