hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
