Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize