Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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