he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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