This dress was meant to end up on your floor
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
