i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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