Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
