Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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