you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
