yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
be right there i have to get my cape
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
