Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She bit a glass in half.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
