why didn't you poke me back
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
