Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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