Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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