yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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