I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
