Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
