At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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