He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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