I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize