we have pet lesbian snakes
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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