It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize