I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
