Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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