She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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