This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
