Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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